Simply Stupid Gazette
Dumb questions. Real answers.
Welcome to the first issue of The Simply Stupid Gazette. We launched with 25 answers to questions you've definitely thought about but were too embarrassed to Google at work. Here are 5 that we think deserve a second look — mostly because the answers made us uncomfortable in ways we weren't expecting.
Editor's picks
Can you cry in space?
Turns out your tears don't fall in zero gravity. They just form a ball of liquid around your eyeball and stay there. We described it as "a physical manifestation of being trapped with your emotions 250 miles above anywhere that can help." We're not saying we cried while writing it, but we're not saying we didn't.
Read the full answer →Why does pineapple burn your tongue?
Pineapple contains an enzyme that literally digests the inside of your mouth while you eat it. It's the only fruit that eats you back. You already knew something was wrong. Now you know why.
Read the full answer →Why do dogs tilt their heads?
Your dog doesn't understand a word you're saying. The head tilt is not comprehension — it's a con. You reward it with treats every time, and now you've built a four-legged scam artist who looks confused on purpose. You trained this.
Read the full answer →Why do your fingers wrinkle in water?
Five minutes in a bathtub and your fingers give up completely. They surrender. They become raisins. Your hands have the worst morale of any body part, and nobody's talking about it.
Read the full answer →Why do we say "bless you" when someone sneezes?
We've been running a 1,400-year-old social program that nobody knows how to uninstall. Someone's nose malfunctions and everyone in the room owes them a verbal blessing. Skip it once and you're the villain.
Read the full answer →By the numbers
25 pages live at launch. Every one of them answered a question you were afraid to ask out loud.
Coming soon
We've been running a 1,400-year-old social program that nobody knows how to uninstall. Someone's nose malfunctions and everyone in the room owes them a verbal blessing. Skip it once and you're the villain.
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